Celebrating Differences - Day 37

One of my absolute favorite quotes many of us heard as children.  “Why fit in when you were born to stand out?”  ― Dr. Seuss  Such a powerful message in just a few short words.  As children, the biggest thing we try to do is fit in.  We didn't want to be the one who wass different, the one the other children picked on, the outcast.  Trying to fit in with others our own age is all we knew, if we are lucky.

Some of us were not so lucky.  Our differences we still tried to keep to ourselves, however, they were harder to hide sometimes.  For those of us not born with a silver spoon in our mouths, plastic if we were lucky enough to have a spoon, fitting in was a pipe-dream.  We were just trying to hide in the shadows, become wall paper, blend in so no one paid much attention to us.  Many of us acted all big and bad to push people away and not seem like a timid mouse that could be stepped on.  We were the unlucky children in homes where love was all but non-existent, where being yelled at or hit was the only thing you knew of emotional acknowledgement or physical touch by a parent.

The life of an abused and neglected child is not easy but if lucky, it is survivable.  Some are saved by other family members, some by the court systems, and some just run or get pushed away to fend for themselves.  When the escape  finally happens, many still try to fit in, to become what society says we should...hard working people, getting meager paying jobs, paying taxes, and if we are lucky, have families and children of our own.  Still trying to fit in, but we now have a choice.  Do we continue the same pattern we knew as children or do we stop the trend, celebrate our differences, and stand out for what could be the first time in our lives.  

For me, this was a changing point in my life.  I am lucky enough to say I have had many points where I have had multiple choices and I typically chose the path opposite of my parents on purpose.  I was looking to never make the same choices my biologicals did.  Yes, that is all they are to me, the sperm and egg that created me because beyond that, except for beating me into submission or ignoring my very existence and giving some excuse as to who's fault that was and why it was OK, they never did much as parents.  I never want to be like them.  I never want to either abuse my children or completely ignore them as if I had none.  I never want be the person who marries and divorces people like others turn on and off light switches.  

What was most important to me was to make sure my children had all they needed, as much of what they wanted as I could provide, and knew that they could be anything they wanted, they did not need to hide in the shadows or be wall paper.  They could stand out and celebrate their differences, fitting in when they wanted to but knowing that it was not required.  They could decide where they wanted to go and be who they wanted to be without criticism. They would be happy, healthy, and vibrant.  That was my main goal in life and I am so proud to say I succeeded in that.  I beat the odds.

Even now when my children come to see me, call me to say hi, or as is common with youth today, message me on one app or another, I know I did my job well because they do reach out.  They still want to have me as part of their lives.  Hugs are a regular occurrence in our home. They are happy. They are succeeding in what they want to do in life.  Even though they didn't have the perfect childhoods, experiencing the loss of a parent at such tender young ages, they still thrive.  As a parent, I can not be more proud that they are able to stand out and celebrate their differences instead of trying to always fit in.  They know who they are and who they want to be.  They are amazing.

To those reading this, I wish for you one thing.  That you stand up and stand out and be who you are, who you want to be, celebrate the differences that make you YOU.