This little suicide bomber who dove headfirst into my second cup of Joe and floated around until I almost had him for breakfast. So nasty! That is definitely one way to wake up quick! It made me stop quick and pay closer attention. It also made me more aware of those things I do without even thinking about them.
Some days it just feels like we go through the motions to get from one end of the day to the other with very little thought to the things that happen in between. Have you ever driven to work and not remembered the drive? What about getting up in the morning? Do you think about everything you do or do you just follow the same old routine without having to think about what you are doing? Kind of like a car rolling down a rutted country road. The wheels will fall into the ruts and continue following the path of least resistance until we decide to change course.
I think life can get that way as well. We go through our days doing the same thing we did the day before, maybe veering a little here and there but for the most part doing the same things day in and day out. I am guilty of this. As I sit here thinking about my recent past, I am saddened to see that except for my writing every day, I have fallen back into the same old routine I had before I started this. I was trying to get up early. That's not happening now. I was trying to meditate every day. Have not done that in a bit either. I still take the silence by not turning on the TV while I am writing these entries. My reflection time or Vision, Affirmation, Reading and Exercise parts of the Life S.A.V.E.R.S. part have all but stopped completely. I feel like everything I started with such gusto, got lost. Wow. Really sad. Kind of feels like I failed myself.
Well, I could just decide to give up and throw in the towel. I know that this past few days has really made me think about doing this. Giving up on those goals to better myself. It did feel like things were stacking up against me. I was beaten down verbally by a so called friend. I had injured myself (yea, the klutz in me reared it's ugly head again) making exercise hit the back burner again. I felt attacked by my job, like I couldn't even get a few days off without someone hassling me to work even though I was supposed to be on vacation and on top of it all I feel like I am neglecting all those who are important in my life because I am spreading myself too thin.
I'm not going to give up. Throw in the towel is only what happens when I'm doing laundry. I refuse to quit. Time to regroup and start over again. Time to re-prioritize my world, get back on that path I was so excited about 31 days ago,, the path to a better me.
Goal: Make the best of the rest of today and start fresh tomorrow.
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