Not Batshit Crazy

Off and on over the years since my husband passed away I have tried online dating. I used to think that you get what you paid for because I was coming up with lots of throw-backs on those sites that were free. Same pictures of the same guys who seemed to be all too perfect and were apparently from some other country or working in another country and lining up suckers for when they got back.  Yea, I said suckers.  I have seen those fake profiles that someone with even half a brain would know were fake.  It blows my mind people actually fall for that crap.  First question:  How do women fall for that and why in the world would they give money to them?  Yea, I have watched the talk shows that have the pathetic women on telling how they have given thousands and thousands of dollars to the scam artists but they are still in love.  Seriously?  Mind blown!

Then there is the ones who are real men but who build up their profiles with pictures that are at least 10 years old if not older and have them looking like super models or are only from the shoulders up.  Why people can't be themselves is the question?  Do you think that the rest of you hiding in the cropped out part of the picture are not going to be visible when you meet?  Do you not think that your date will be quite disappointed in the fact you could not post a current photo showing that you are now bald with a keg not a great head of hair with a 6-pack?  Why is it people can't be honest about who they are.

And talk about pickup lines.  It seems that the guys on those singles sites are sitting there at their computers with the dating app open on one screen and Googling cheesy pickup lines on the other and using them like bait on a hook, dangling them to see who will bite.  Come on guys, do you think those really work?  Ladies, please say it isn't so?

I even tried paying a membership fee in hopes that it would bring a higher class of potential suitors.  Well, that didn't work.  Same trolls over and over with the same 10 year old photos, profiles that were just too good to be true.  Only difference is that the pool was more shallow because less men were willing to fork out the pennies for potential dates.

The best thing though was the compliments.  "Love your pictures."  " You seem perfect for me."  "You are so beautiful."  "You're gorgeous."  "How are you single?"  Now don't get me wrong, those are nice things to have said to you and at first I was flattered.  The problem is they seem to be a different bucket of pickup lines made for the online community of trolls.  They all say the same thing, then when you don't want to give them your phone number or meet them immediately they either become pissy or disappear all together.  The 'dating experts' say you should meet in a reasonable amount of time, however when you have a life outside of the computer, sometimes it is not as easy as drop everything to schedule a meet-up.  Also, sometimes if you chat just a little longer, their true selves come out and you don't end up wasting the make-up and getting ready time to meet just another troll.  By the way, how does one become a 'dating expert'?  Do they just do nothing but date people?  I mean really?

Yes, I sound cynical at this point, I know.  Honestly, I guess I am.  I work from home so meeting someone at the office is out, my children are grown so the single dad pool is gone too, and after the countless disappointments the online dating community has dished out, how could one not be.  I don't go to bars to meet people because what you meet in a bar you lose in a bar, and my grocery store is filled with old people so we won't fall madly in love at first sight over the salad bar.  I have always jokingly said the man of my dreams will need to knock on my door and say, "Here I am sweetie" or I may never find him.  My computer is apparently the only avenue I have for meeting people I would otherwise never 'run into' in my daily life.  I am a hopeful romantic feeling hopeless about the possibilities of really meeting the right Mr. Right for me and that kind of sucks.

Yet, I will continue to keep trying.  I will keep hoping I will find the man who is my best friend, my other half, my soul mate.  I will not give up, maybe take long breaks but never give up.  After all, I did get the best compliment just recently and no it was not a Google search special.  "You are still the only one I've met online that's not batshit crazy."  There may still be hope yet.  Wish me luck.