#65 - A Unicorn Blew Up on my Canvas

I was sitting down to paint, had all my color bottles ready and the canvas prepped with pretty white background paint.  I had put on several color drops already in preparation of making a beautiful feather when I picked up one of my bottles and a paper towels decided to hitch a ride on the bottom and fall onto my painting.  I tried to catch it but wasn't fast enough and it caused a rainbow on my canvas.  So...............this painting changed from a beautiful trio of feathers to an exciting unicorn explosion.  As Bob Ross would say it was a happy accident.
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When the unexpected happens in life, as in with art, we have to find the good side of it or it will cause mass havoc in our worlds.  Life is not perfect, but it is the only one you have so making the best of it, finding the silver lining on all the clouds is required for keeping your sanity through all the twists and changes that life throws. 

Maybe for me it is my coping mechanism but it works. I always try to find the positive in any situation.  It is not always easy but I do try.  Laughter is also another tool I use to keep the positive vibe going.  I believe that you have two choices to any situation, laugh or cry.  I would prefer to laugh because besides wrinkles and maybe a sore rib or two (depending on just how deeply you laugh) you don't have negative impacts from it.  OK, people might also think you are a little nuts, but who cares.  Crying makes your face puffy, your nose run, your make-up smear, and just drags you down.  So many positives to laughing. 

Another thing that helps me is getting my feelings out into some physical form.  Whether it be to paint, write, cook, or even just get out and go for a long walk, to me it helps.  I find it almost therapeutic to push my feelings out as far as possible. Sometimes I can then 'see' them instead of them hiding deep inside, doing damage in the hidden corners of my mind.  In bringing them to the surface, it allows me to address them and work through them so much easier which I believe to be much healthier way to deal.  It was not always like this. I used to bottle them up and hold them deep inside, not letting them out, hiding them from the world to portray a strong outer shell no one could penetrate. It was a defense mechanism I had from childhood.  Never let anyone see your weak points, must protect the underbelly so as not to be hurt.  It is not a good way to live but it was all I knew from my upbringing. 

Now so many years later, after having experienced so many horrific things in my life, I look back and realize that my protection, my defense mechanism was actually holding me back from truly living.  Once I really opened up my mind to all those nightmares of my past and allowed myself to remember and release them into the universe I was able to begin to grown and become who I am today. I am, by no means, done growing but I do have a healthier understanding of how those things built up a wall in me that I have begun chipping away at.  Brick by brick, stone by stone, the wall is coming down allowing my inner child, artist, mother, lover, and friend to emerge and grown into the person I know I can be.  This will not be a happy accident, but years of painstaking work to break down the barriers and jump the hurdles stopping me from truly living. 

So, off to see what my next canvas will hold.  Make sure to check back in to see my new happy accidents.