#67 - Writing the next chapter

In life, like in books, every chapter is written to move us on to the next part of the story.  Luckily in life, unlike in books, our chapters are written by us and we can decide how we want them to go and when it is time to move on to a new one.  Every word written is of our choice, even though we may not think so, we do have the power of holding the pen for our lives.  We choose how it is going to go by the choices we made every single day.  Here is what I mean.

Every morning we wake up and make our first choice.  Do I want to get out of this warm, safe, comfortable bed or not?  From there our days are filled with more and more choices we must make.  I know I have heard people say, 'but I don't have a choice...I have to work.'  But there it is again, you do have a choice.  Do you want to go to work to provide for yourself (and your family if you have one), putting a roof over their heads and food on the table or do you want to be homeless and beg?  Choices...we all have choices.

Another choice we have is how we feel.  Do you want to be happy or sad?  Are you going to raise the pom-poms and cheer on the day or are you going to invite the world to you own personal pity party?  I know some will talk about depression and how it is not a choice.  I do not fully understand depression as I have never had it, I have been sad and then worked myself out of it. Maybe it's luck.  Maybe it is that I have all but removed the pharmaceutical world from my life opting for more natural remedies and cures than those of the medical community.  Not saying there is not a time and place where it may be needed, just that I am not going to throw a pill at every problem I have in my life.  It seems like according to modern medicine, there is a pill for everything.  Have a headache? Take a pill.  Have a sad moment? Take a pill.  Can't perform? Take a pill.  Want to be healthy? Take a pill.

People today have become accustom to running to the doctor or pharmacy whenever they feel something is off.  Ever wonder if the pills we are taking are actually causing the off feelings?  Ever listen to the list of side effects spewed off in the lower monotone voice in record speed at the end of those feel good commercials telling you there is a pill for everything that ails you?  Do you really want to take a pill for a headache that is going to cause IBS, vomiting, shortness of breath, vision problems, loss of hearing, inability to walk or care for yourself, comma and even the possibility of death?  The mentality that everything has a medicinal fix seems to be strengthened by every commercial for the new drugs.  Have you ever paid attention to all the other commercials from the law firms putting out class action suits against many of those drugs we watched commercials for?  It's like they go hand-in-hand and it all goes back to choices.

Please understand that this is not a blog about promoting medicinal marijuana or anything like that.  I am just saying we all have choices on what we do, how we feel, and what we want to do about changing those two things.

This morning for a very small moment I started to feel sad.  I was supposed to have plans this evening, a date, but last week the man I was seeing decided it wasn't working for him, so no more plans.   So I had a choice and instead of letting this ruin my day, I am going pick up the pom-poms and going to cheer at the possibilities today may bring.  I see art and beauty in my future, and the beginning of my next chapter.

#63 - Choices

In life, we all have choices.  We can choose to be happy or sad.  We can choose to move forward or always look back.  We can choose to try or give up.  So many opportunities in our lives are missed because we either choose not to look or not to try.

Our past can serve two purposes.  It can hold us down, forever looking back at the what-if's and the could-have-been's, never moving forward because of the fear of screwing up again.  Worse yet, if you have lost someone or something very important, that loss can also hold you back for fear of more loss.  The broken heart, the loss of desire to ever be happy again due to that pain.  Thinking that you don't deserve to have it because of the past.  However the past can also serve as a lesson on what not to do, how to come out better than before, how not to experience the pain again or how to live through it should it happen.

Take walking as an example.  We all learn to walk by getting up first on our knees, then up on our feet, then we take a step.  Soon we learn to walk faster, then to run.  We master things like stairs and walking over thing, then up hills and down.  But one day, we take a fall.  We step in a hole.  We get hurt, maybe even breaking a limb.  Do we stop walking because it hurt?  Do we decide to never try and walk again for fear we could fall and hurt ourselves again?  Typically no.  We may be down for a short time healing but we eventually stand and walk again, then learn to move around again, maybe moving a little more cautious at first but we still move again.

I am a big fan of quotes.  One quote I try to remember when I feel I have gotten 'stuck' in life is the definition of insanity.  "Insanity:  The act of doing something over and over again, expecting a different result."  How many times have you done this only to realize you have gotten nowhere.  Take dieting for an example.  Many times we try a new fad diet, you know the ones that will tell you you can lose a bunch of weight without exercising.  You succeed in losing the weight temporarily but then go back to the same old habits of eating whatever you want and never exercise, basically setting yourself up for failure.  Then once you have gained the weight back you wonder, how did that happen.  You did what you always do.  Instead of finding the real reason you are over weight was because you never get off your couch and do things like walk or exercise and you eat whatever you want, stuffing yourself until you are miserable because it tastes good, you blame the diet for failing you.  The next time a new fad diet comes out you try it and the same thing happens.

I have been this person much of my life.  Not just with diets, but with bettering myself, moving forward from my past, even just with trying to branch out and try new things.  It has only taken me 49 years to realize that I was stuck in a rut much of my life.  I could lay blame on my past, my parents, the abuses I endured as a child, the losses of loved ones, the hardships that life dealt me, but what would that accomplish.  Honestly not a damn thing other than making me feel sorry for myself.  I have never and never will use those experiences of my past as a crutch or reason for me not succeeding.  They are, in fact, the reason I have succeeded so far and the reason I will continue to succeed.

I have been asked over the years if I could go back and change one thing, what would it be?  The honest answer is...NOTHING!  I am who I am because of what I experienced in my past.  I am the wonderful, honest, loving, caring, strong, independent, tough, sweet, blunt, rock of a person I am today as a direct result of the things that made me this way through the previous 48 years.  I would not want anything to change.

Instead I choose to live by the 3 choices.  Give up, Give in, OR GIVE IT ALL YOU'VE GOT!  Life is too short not go for it, to grab it by the reins and ride off into the sunset having a great time knowing you did all you wanted, you accomplished as much as you could, and you had fun doing it.  The time to choose is now, and you have the power to choose whatever you want to have, be, and do.  Time to go out and play and have fun and try new things and maybe fall down and get back up.  Ready?

Tag, you're it.