#76 - Introverted or Extroverted

Introvert or Extrovert.  Why is it that we put people into one of two categories.  I recently found an article that made so much more sense than trying to fit round pegs into square holes.  Not every person is so perfectly formed that they just fit.  Why does everything have to be black or white.  What about all the different hues in the world of color.  It is the same with personality types.  You can be an extroverted introvert or an introverted extrovert.  Each of us is unique.  I can honestly say I fit into the introverted extrovert.  Here are some of the reasons why.

Shy:  When in a group of my friends, people I know, I can be very outspoken, however when I am in a group of people I do not know I can be more on the shy side.  I have always called it acting like wallpaper, hanging around to decide if I want to participate or just leave.  I know, my friends are going to fall over reading this but it's true. 

Secretive:  As for sharing, while I can seem like an open book, I keep many secrets close to the vest.  There are so many things about me that very few know and even some none do.  In my life, I have seen so much pain, experienced so many things that others just couldn't comprehend.  I have always said that Stephen King, my favorite author as a kid, could get ideas from my life for a book.  Maybe someday I will write my story and let it out, but until then those secrets will stay tightly locked away where I can protect them.

Vulnerable:  Only those closest will ever know my vulnerabilities.  To most I seem like a rock but very few will ever get close enough to really know me. Most will just see what I want them to see and no more. I have always found that those who get real close, close enough to see the softer side, seem to either be those I want in my world or those who hurt me.  Even as recent as 2 days ago this came to be true.

Homebody:  I love to socialize. While I look forward to getting out with friends to do things like go to the movies, play pool, visit new restaurants, I have no problem staying home chilling and doing my own thing.  Home equals safety.

Socially Limiting: This is one I am trying to expand on but I still find myself trying to limit my social obligations to things I can control.

Smalltalk is Wasted Breath:  Well, this is kind of true.  While I do like to talk on the phone sometimes, there are other times that I just roll my eyes and get annoyed.  Small talk is the killer of conversations.  I am very good at it but it is really rather boring.  I don't mind it so much with those I love because I can read through it to hear and feel what is going on with them.

Love and Dislike People:  I have been saying for years that I like 4-leggers better than 2.  I usually said it with a laugh but it is honestly true.  While I love being around people I get annoyed with them at the same time.  Typically it is strangers that are most annoying, like crowds in a mall or at concerts or other large groups.  This is one main reason I truly love my alone time which is apparenty is a killer of relationships, or so my last would leave me to believe.  I guess it is not a good idea to ask for space.

Silence is Golden:  Even tho I tend to have music or TV or something else making noise in my world most of the time, that is background nosie. Silence is precious.  Even the sound of a Neuton's cradle in motion is therapeutic. There are moments when listening to something as simple as my breath or the ticking of a clock or the sound of wind is enough.  It doesn't mean anything is wrong, just enjoying the peace that is around.  While being the energy and drive is what I am known to be, needing to recharge is a requirement.  Sitting silently on a beach listening to the waves slap the sand, the guls flying overhead and the winds wisking by is my favorite place to return to myself.

Master of Putting off Answering:  When I read this, I found it to be quite funny because this is part of what caused a recent relationship to fail.  I had no idea this was part of being an introverted extrovert but apparently it is why I get overwhelmed by the pressure of having to respond sometimes so I just put it off.  Yes, this happened and apparently it is a bad thing.

Love Too Easy:  This is a curse.  Rose colored glasses and all, seeing only the good sides and ignoring the bad that will eventually hurt me.  

Born to Lead but may not want to:  It really depends on what it is as to whether or not I want to lead it.  I have, I can, but in many instances I just don't want to.  

Always have an Escape Plan:  This is probably the most accurate of all.  I always know how to leave, have it planned just in case.  Being that I have been through so much, I just plan ahead so I can survive whatever the situation.  

Reading into the different types, the greys of the personality types, has been an interesting lesson and made so much sense.  It also gave me a better understanding of other people I have met and gotten to know.