Questions to Ponder

OK...I have a few questions that came to me the past week.

Let's start off simple.  Why do people bend their ear to listen?  Do they think that bending the ear outward will help them catch the sound better?  Does that work?  I know animals move their ears around like little satellite dishes but does it work for humans?    About the only thing I do is stick my fingers in my ears to stop the sound from entering.  Now that does work, let me tell ya. Ha!

Why do some people go to the movie theater and proceed to talk during the movie? I'm not talking about children.  In my experience last night the children, between 8 and 15, were quiet as church mice.  I am talking to the two stupid women who sat a few sets to the other side of us last night.  Why did they think talking through the entire movie, even when asked nicely to stop talking?  Then pulling out the cell phone to screw with it and annoy everyone else around them.  They sure had no problem getting their butts out of the theater as if their asses were on fire after the movie was over.  Guess they were ok pissing people off in the dark but once we could see them, they didn't think it funny to stay for the severe tongue lashing that was coming had they stayed.  UGH.. Rude people suck.

Has anyone else noticed that commercials on TV have gotten more and more stupid as they go along?  Am I the only one who actually will pause the TV when commercials start, go to whatever I need to do, then come back and fast forward through them?  Before pause was an option it seemed like you barely had enough time to run to the restroom or grab a drink before the show would start back up. Now you can almost run to the local gas station for a beer in the time given to commercials.  Typically you get 3.5 to 4.5 minutes of commercials 3-4 times a show.  Don't even get me started on morning talk shows.  You know the ones where you think you will get weather, traffic, news and a little later, world news.  With those you are lucky if you don't get 6-8 minutes of commercials between each teaser they give of 1-2 minutes of worthless babble.  Thank goodness we now have  the pause and fast forward option as well as the option of paying for commercial free boob-tube. 

Let's talk reality TV.  Can we just say that it really seems like TV producers have lost their ability to come up with good, entertaining shows that can capture an audience to want to watch every week, instead coming up with fake drama that wastes time.  They have decided that people need to watch a bunch of 20-somethings live in a house creating as much stupid fake drama as possible while on 24x7 cameras.  Do we really need fake drama?  Doesn't the world offer enough real drama that we don't need to make more?  Can we all agree that seeing some bachelor or bachelorette find the love of their TV loves got a bit boring?  Do we really care who gets the rose? Are we really living vicariously through our boob-tube?  I thought that was bad but they also created islands where people would 'survive' with lots of drama and arguments...isn't that what Manhattan is?  Or those who are walking around naked with strangers for absolutely no reason.  Then you have crazy bitches with nails and attitudes, actors learning to dance, short people, fat people, swamp people, religious people and more I can't even remember.  Would you think that is enough 'fake' reality TV?  Apparently not.  Now some real sick producer has decided to go to new heights.  Why would some television station or producing station or whatever they are decide that the world needs a reality show about popping pimples?  Even more so, how could someone be excited about that  as a profession?  Beyond that, who is disgusting enough to watch this. I mean really?  That is just freaking nasty!!!

Think that is all my questions for today.  Just thinking about that last one has made me nauseous.  I'm going back to bed.

Furry Night Terrorist

Seriously grateful that I purchased a very heavy trash can made of one inch solid wood sides with a bag holder rim cover and very heavy lid. Why...well, let me tell you a story.

At 3am this morning for some unknown reason I woke up from what was quite a pleasant sleep.  Deciding my bed was no longer comfortable, I and went down stairs thinking I would continue my slumber on the recliner.  As I made it to the bottom of the staircase, I was horrified to hear the squeaking of a mouse caught in a sticky trap I had set last week. Knowing that I must deal with it before one of my dogs decided to investigate and get stuck too, I sighed deeply, grabbed a plastic grocery sack and headed over to take care of business.  It appeared to be very stuck so I put it and the trap in a plastic grocery sack, tied it shut and put it in the wood trash can, lid on, figuring I would deal with it when I got up again later.

So around 7ish when I woke again, I started my morning routine of warm up the coffee machine to in preparation of brewing my first cup of caffeinated bliss and letting the dogs out for their morning run. When I came back into the kitchen, one of the cats was inquisitively staring at the trash can so I knew my night-terrorist was still alive. In preparation of dealing with this little nightmare, I unlocked the deadbolt on the front door so I could quickly get the trash bag outside before the cat tried to 'help me'. Once the door was unlocked and I thought I was ready, I lifted the heavy wooden lid and to my surprise, there was that little (ok, not so little) mouse up on hind legs staring at me as if to say, "You seriously thought that would work?"

Needless to say I made a little-girl like squeal and slammed the lid back down, wondering what the hell I was going to do now. This squeal caused my dogs, who consistently protect me from every mailman, delivery driver, stray dog, loud truck, jumping squirrel, bouncing bunny, and flying leaf, to slam into the glass storm door with nervous intent to save momma.  This too, caused me to squeal as at this point, I had not yet had any coffee.  Nope…this was not going to happen until I at least had a few sips. Nope...not yet!

So after the brew was finally finished and I ingested in a little liquid courage, I lifted the lid of the trash can. I don't know if it would be there still staring or ready to pounce in an attempt to escape but luckily it was not.  I guess when I slammed the lid down, it scared the little terrorist back down into the depths of the trash bag lining the can. Back to the coffee...still not ready for this!

Now I had to figure out how to deal with this. How do I get this furry night terrorist out of my trashcan, out of my house, and not let it escape or worse yet, jump on me in the process. The can is solid wood with a heavy lid and is too heavy to pick up and just put outside without having to hug it and there was no way in hell I was getting my face that close to a mouse. I could put it on a little dolly-like cart but I would still have to get my face close.  Still does not sound like something I have had enough coffee for.  One more sip of coffee to help me think.

A couple more minutes and about half a cup later, I decided I had enough liquid courage to attack the little problem.  The dogs were staring through the door with ‘must protect momma’ looks.  The cat was waiting in anticipation of my failure where he would be able to play with the new toy in the can. Me, still not ready but knowing since there was no one in the house to deal with this, grabbed the drawstrings on either side of the bag, lifted the lid, pulled out the bag, and flung the whole mess out on the front porch, and slammed the front door so in case it jumped out as the bag flew it would not be able to run back in.  Yes, this was my fear…it would come back in and get me.  This entire dance of insanity taking less than 10 seconds but feeling like hours.  Now I’m exhausted and need more coffee!

The bag landed on the front porch with the open end facing the front door.  I stared at it through the window on the door half expecting to see the mouse run out.  Then it dawned on me.  Now I have let this little menace out into the world and I was captive in my house because there was no way I was going to be able to get out my front door with that bag sitting there, still open, with the fur-terrorist in it waiting to pounce.  I know what you are thinking…really that’s not going to happen but come on…my thoughts are still only at half cup level so yea, in my mind it could happen.  I open the door, grab the bag, tied it shut as quick as my hands will function and throw the entire mess off my porch.  Success!  I will now be able to leave my house.  I am not going to think about the fact the bag landed next to my driver’s side door of my car.  This is not my current problem. 

Coffee, here I come.